Self-Development – About eight years ago I heard the word self-development. And until now, we are still learning about it. It feels like the material is just that – that’s all. Starting from time management, to goal setting. But how come it’s not successful – it’s successful, right?
If we are honest, we actually know the cause of personal growth that has not met expectations. Yes, we – we are also the ones who caused this to happen.
Call it a consistency like a submarine. Today at the top, tomorrow at the bottom. The decision is not final yet. Today says A, tomorrow when facing challenges it changes to A minus and the day after tomorrow it becomes B. And there are many more which actually also indicate that mastering the habits and choices a person makes does take time.
I’ve heard that self-development is like learning a new song. When we learn a new song, we try to memorize the lyrics and tune. Often we also keep notes of the song lyrics.
First we try singing by holding the lyric notes in hand. After several repetitions, we try to sing without looking at the notes. Forgot the third line, no problem, we open the lyric notes, and sing again from the front. When we forget again, we open the note to the lyrics and sing again.
Well, self-development is the same. We choose the material we will study. Just like we choose the song we want. Lyric notes are books we read or audio programs or articles that contain aspects of our lives that we want to change.
We read it several times until it’s settled. And we try to apply it in our daily life. One or two days it’s smooth, the third day it’s stuck.
It doesn’t matter. Just like the song lyrics. Surely someone forgot. If we forget, we don’t curse ourselves and stop trying. But we reread the notes and do it again.
Failed again? Reread, and start again.
Until later, without realizing it we can sing a full song without opening the notes. One day, someone else compliments the personality we are trying to develop. And we just realize that that personality has stuck with us.
I’m not sharing this because I’m already good at it. Far away, I’m still learning, from reading books, watching videos and observing my wife who consistently carries out her plans.
I wrote this as a reminder to myself and who knows, in the process, you may become infected with the enthusiasm to develop yourself.
Let’s go straight to the discussion of the article title, 3 things that enable us to be consistent in self-development:
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Have a strong reason. It is the reason at the bottom of our hearts. Not sentences that we read from books or what people say. Ways to dig it up include asking “What did you get?” For example, Bona wants to be able to manage her time well. So the way to explore it is as follows: What do you get if you can manage your time well? Usually Bona will answer: “I can do my job well.” So we go again, “What do you get if you do a good job?” “Families can have their needs met.” “What do you get if your family’s needs are met?” By the third repetition, answers usually start to slow down. Currently we are just approaching the required depth. At least two to four more repetitions before we reach the core. Even though it can still be dug further, at level 5 it is usually enough as an anchor. When I did this, my deepest answer was, “Full.” I did all the self-improvement things to feel “full.” Note, as we approached the fifth repetition, I started to get irritated with the questioner, and this is normal, because our brain gets tired of being pushed inside. But make the intention to search for the deepest answer, then the answer will come out without you realizing it.
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Strengthen rewards and punishment. Living creatures move towards pleasure and away from misery. That’s more or less the basis for this number. For this reason, the practical step is to imagine what will happen if our goal is not achieved. Family woes, parents become embarrassed, etc. After that we also imagine if we succeed. Amazed spouses, proud parents, etc. My wife keeps a copy of the $100 bill in front of her desk as a reminder of her purpose. As a result, he rarely misses a step to achieve his goals. Post YouTube videos.
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Create a reminder system This is the step that is most often overlooked. We already have strong reasons, heavy punishment, and attractive rewards before our eyes. But if we don’t create a system to remember our goals. So just wait for time and our goals will fade with the daily activities we do. In this step I learned a lot from my wife, namely using a bullet journal. Or we used to call it a diary. The difference is that bullet journals use symbols and systems to make it easier for us to remember big goals and plan short-term activities. For example, at the beginning of the bujo (bullet journal) prepare a big picture in the form of an annual list, a monthly list, which boils down to daily notes. We will not go into details in this article.
And yes, that’s what we need to develop ourselves in any field. I personally start again from the first step. Ascertain the reasons, know the rewards and punishments, and record consistently. 
Now I only use one book to record all my ideas, big pictures, monthly and daily plans, as well as current and future projects.
It’s still January and I’m still consistent. I’m not saying I’m sure it will continue to be consistent until next year. But I’m sure, even if I fail to be consistent for a day or two, I can come back to this article and start the process again. How about you? What do you do to ensure your self-development is successful?
